please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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