sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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