Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize
