you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
