I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
