I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
