it wasn't lemon gatorade
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My vagina is very pro this idea
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
