why didn't you poke me back
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
