quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
