Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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