he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize