Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
