I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
