I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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