ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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