Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
