I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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