and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
