Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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