Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
