I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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