I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
