This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
