the new term for farting is butt boxing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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