eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
