I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
