The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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