I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
