you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
