The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
