so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
why is half of my head shaved?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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