i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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