so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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