so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
