I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
