I love black thongs
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
