And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
