people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
