I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
