Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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