So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
