I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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