Banned from zoo.
Again?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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