there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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