Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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