You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
