Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
