Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
