I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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