i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
