He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
