when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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